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Interview | In Conversation With Madhavi Jadhav,Founder of Thatmate -Jammu Voice



Interview by Tahir Rufayee

Madhavi Jadhav,File Photo

My questions for you are as follows:
What was your thought process in conceptualizing ‘Thatmate’?

Sex education is still very much a taboo in India. Parents get scandalized when it’s brought up. Teachers are uncomfortable discussing it in schools. And the internet is not always a reliable source. This affects the kids consciously or subconsciously and typically has repercussions in the form of depression due to sudden physical and mental change which they are not properly aware of.  Also, unprotected sex or incidents of sexual abuse don’t happen because of sex education, rather due to the lack of it.
My niece got her periods when she was 11 years old. She asked her mother several types of questions like why periods happen? Why they only happen to women? Can she get rid of them? Why it comes every month? My sister in law and my cousin both were uncomfortable answering her questions. They were trying to dodge her questions. This made me think, even today in 2016, the situation is still the same. The words like condom, sanitary pads are considered ‘taboos’ in my family. I thought my cousin and my sister in law, who are almost a decade older than I am, wouldn’t keep their kids uninformed as my parents did. However, when my niece asked these question and everyone in the family didn’t care to answer, I realized something had to be done.

Do you feel the present generation of adolescents is better versed with sex and sexuality and everything connected with it compared to the previous generations? What is their source of information/education?

The problem is – in this internet era, the nature of information that’s being put out there is perverse and obstreperous. Blocking access to it is just not possible for government, parents, teachers or schools. All we can do is provide the correct information from correct sources.

In your opinion, what kind of a role should parents and teachers play in helping adolescents feel comfortable to talk about sex and sexuality?

Schools and colleges should take this responsibility. Because something like “Papa, what does fuck-you mean?” tends to fluster parents completely. It’s a skill that can be easily acquired by teachers, not by parents.
Let’s accept it. This matter is still very much a taboo. Parents get scandalized when it’s brought up. Their first impression is that this person is going to give out graphical information about “things” (Little do they know that their children are busy watching porn-clips on their smartphones). And then all this can translate to anywhere between obscene language, passing vulgar comments.. all the way to cases of sexual violence. This is where we get it wrong. These incidences don’t happen because of sexuality education but due to lack of it. Every time we have done a workshop in this regard with teachers, they express regret that they did not have access to this information when they were students themselves.
Parents don’t really have a choice about whether their children get sex information – they can only choose whether or not to participate in the sex education at home. Fact is that teaching children about sex need not be different from teaching them about lots of other things

What is the level of sex education in India?

Teenagers learn most of what they know about sex from their friends rather than parents. Sex education in school curriculum is still not offered. Children are exposed to a great deal of information about sex at an early age through television, movies, books, internet and lots of other sources. It leads to the risk of interpreting what they see as accurate depictions of what sex is all about, which may have unfortunate consequences this, is education by default…
Children of all age groups are curious to know about sex, periods and condoms. The advertisements and the physiological changes that happen in their bodies probe them to know more about it. It’s quite obvious of kids to ask questions after seeing a pregnant woman or a newborn. If parents refuse to talk about this or share half-baked stories with them, it will only misguide the child.

As a concerned citizen who, along with her team, is contributing actively to open the channels of communication in sex education what, according to you, are the gaps or loopholes in our society?
Enfold a Bangalore based NGO and Tarshi  are doing it. People should understand that sex education is extremely important and it should be a part of curriculum. People think there might be a “temptation” to use the “knowledge” once acquired  (like the-Kunti-effect in Mahabharata). Actually speaking — curiosity and temptation is quite natural for the adolescent age. Misinformation is worst. It’s better to gain formal “knowledge” than “learning” something profane through blue films. This knowledge comes ensconced with a sense of responsibility and that’s exactly the intention of sexuality education. Puberty is not just about pimples, moustache/beard or menstruation. It involves evolution of moral values and taking responsibility of your decisions. Won’t a streamlined learning process make it easier?

Rape is just a tip of the iceberg when it comes to sexual violence. There’re so many more layers to this – sexual harrassment at workplace, gender bias, child abuse, marital rape etc. etc. Are we going to wake up only temporarily, after brouhaha about the next high-profile rape story in the media?

 Madhavi Jadhav is a social entrepreneur and Founder of ThatMate, an online platform working towards spreading awareness about sexuality related topics. She wants ThatMate to be a one stop solution for all sexuality related issues. This will be done by letting people discover a repository of videos, comics and articles on all sexuality related topics. It will also provide online support for all queries related to sexuality by providing a platform for people to discuss their knowledge and concerns on sexuality related topics. ThatMate is a reliable and trustworthy platform to share and propagate knowledge about sex education and sexuality related topics. It is a culturally sensitive approach to break the taboo associated with sexuality education in India.
A petroleum engineer by education and profession, an avid reader, a moody writer and a traveler by choice.  Featured in USA Today’s 30 under 30 in February 2014. A Tedx speaker


Ayurvedic Perspective of Sleeplessness



By Dr. Milan Singh

Sleeplessness originates in More-Excess air elements

Acc. : Ayurveda


Ayrurveda holds that the human being is precipitated from a higher,
subtle consciousness, and has taken on “coursings” such as ahuman
body. It is said that 5 elements fire, water, air earth and ether makes
human body collectively all to Ayurveda.

We, will focus on the air elements qualities and actions according
to the parent science of polarity therapy. Ayurveda for treating
sleeplessness, a disturbing common disorder today.

The air element is the second in density of the 5 elements
comprising the human body, mind and consciousness. Prana (life force)
expressed as the air elements govern’s movement (rajas guna) and
agents of movement such as the human nervous system, sensory
systems, respiratory system, structural system, peristalsis, association,
choice and ascension.

It characteristics qualities are dry, light, cold, mobile, subtle and
changeable. Its main sites are the calan, joints, skin, ear canals,CNS

and “marna” points. Here begins the daily journey of winding down into
sound, restorative sleep.

The air, element also maintains auric field and negative electrically
charged polarities and its chakra and meridian movements. There
begins the journey of reining in the mind each evening. The mental
channels are under the jurisdiction of their owner who can develop life
affirming habits.

The air element, when balanced and in its right places, functions
to govern timing such as coordination of digestive values opening and
closing, blinking, maintainable and endocrine order, cellular
communications and cosmic awareness. When imbalanced, subjective
signs such as gasses, sleeplessness, joint popping , sensory
impairment, constipation, vertigo, auditory delusions, anorexia,
forgetfulness, fears or treamors can develop.


The air element expresses in 5 element system and pathways in
human life.

Prana (inspiration, assimilation, sensory communication), Vetana
expiration, speech, motor communications), Samana (abdominal

digestive oscillation), Apana (pelvic elimination, stabilization grounding
etc. and vyana (cordial, lymphatic and thermal circulation)

For example, sleeplessness calls for downward moving
protocols while respiratory diseases such as Asthma, bronchitis,
pneumonia, copal etc. involve more upward or Udana. Related


Marma points are thought of in Ayurveda as doorways to the
higher consciousness, awareness of these doorways helps awaken
insight into the ones symptoms causative factors. Through still point
contacts, prana is invited to restore its natural balance by experiencing
letting go of under physical, emotional or spiritual pain. Exhalation
becomes an important pathway of wariness of choice. Retaining the
mind and body for stillness is more important for vata person, who can
become more easily influenced by sensory stimuli such line
temperature changes, sound etc.


Means to restore stability and balance to prana life, by focusing
on protocols to contact its main sites and doorway. The respiratory,
CNS, Endocrine system and facial systems are all important sites of

prana, affecting habitual subconscious inhalations of life forces. The
pulmonary grid sites of the thoracic cavity, both front and back serve as
important doorways for deepening the inhalation and exhalations.


Ancient yogic breathing practices help retain the minds pattern’s
from agitation to claimless, from self centeredness to self centeredness
easily at home, one can practice anulom-viloma, alternate nostril
breathing, making the breath deeper fuller and more silent with each
lack successful breath, leading to mastery over one’s breath and one

By remembering ones true stillness, the mind is restored one

At home, use a late afternoon tea of equal valerian, hops and
chamonails. At bedtime, about 9:30 pm in winter and 10:30 pm in
summer, take a warm bath c 1/3 cup sesame oil rinse, towel dry and
sleep deeply visually informed (piita) sleep deprivation unprocessed or
undigested visual images can build up in the grey matter and fascia,
when one’s mind is busy at midnight and moreso when the eyes are
exposed to radiation, pitta increases in the nervous system, burning the
balances of nairo –transmitter’s and harmones. By reading to fall asleep

as compared to sitting for meditation in the evening ones eyesight will
gradually weaken. Meditation gives emphasis to restoration and repair
of cells, similar to deep sleep. At home eye drops of castor oil can be
used at bedtime, it help in falling asleep quickly. Once asleep, pitta is
more likely to remain asleep.


This protocol involves systematically balancing the thoracic cvity
through the inter costal marma points horizontally and the 5 elements.
Both anterior posterior points can be balanced simultaneously for
profound restoration of function while the client relaxes prone. The
marma points Sanskrit names help activate vibrational balance
throughout the points range of structural and functional influence.
Snoring can lead to apnea, a cause and complication of prolongs
sleeplessness so one should practice daily Ujjayi Pranayam


In Ayurved and Yoga meditation is considered as the first and last
medicine for all symptoms, suffering and delusions forgetfulness of mind
get’s reduced by practicing meditation.

Sit facing eastward in the early morning and evening, ideally in the
same location, each day. The body will look forward to retain the
position in resting mode and mind to introverting, providing deep rest to
the physical and mental stresses of life.

With autogenic suggestions and re-training the mind can become
the servant it is meant to be, rather than a pseudo master, trying to steal
away over in born tranquility yes, the peace lies deeper than the
agitation of worries and anxieties so we must look deeper do meditation
and relax our mind, keep it at calmness and rest so that we can achieve
a sound sleep, longevity vigour and utility.

By Dr. Milan Singh

(Dep. Of AYUSH)

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‘Militants killed in encounters of Jammu & Kashmir were post-2016 recruits’



Police chief S.P. Vaid explains Shopian, Anantnag operations

All militants who were killed in multiple operations in Jammu and Kashmir on Sunday joined the terrorist outfits post-2016, J&K police chief S.P. Vaid told leading National Daily The Hindu on Tuesday.

Mr. Vaid asked people from Kashmir to “introspect” whether the violence aided by Pakistan from across the border “was doing them any good.”

Thirteen militants were killed as security forces launched “coordinated,” multiple operations in Shopian and Anantnag in south Kashmir on Sunday. Three Army men lost their lives in the operations.

The Kashmir Valley saw a surge in the number of local boys joining terrorist outfits after Hizbul Mujahideen (HM) commander Burhan Wani and two others were killed in an encounter with security forces on July 8, 2016.

Pellet guns

Mr. Vaid said a large number of protesters had gathered at the encounter site and there was no way to avoid the use of pellet guns. Four civilians were killed. Scores of them are being treated in Srinagar hospitals for pellet injuries. Some were hit in the eye. Mr. Vaid said, “The mob was pelting stones at security forces at the encounter site. When militants fire indiscriminately, the bullets don’t see if they will hit an Army man or a civilian. It was an open area and tear gas shells and PAVA shells were also used, but they remained ineffective,” he said.

According to Mr. Vaid, this was the first time in many years that an operation of this scale had been launched in Shopian.

He said he hoped the operations did not impact the tourist season in the Valley. He dismissed allegations by Pakistan that “human shields” were used in Sunday’s encounters. “When has Pakistan spoken the truth? Pakistan claims to be a friend of Kashmir but all this (violence) is their doing,” he said.

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Lack of disposal System in Preet Nagar Jammu,Causing Indiscriminate dumping of garbage



Letter to the Editor

Dear Sir,

I,m a resident of Preet Nagar (Nanak Nagar Jammu).I’m writing to put forward the issue of inadequate garbage disposal in my society.There is a plot beside my home,which has became open dust bin for many people of different areas,as they come to throw their household garbage in the plot.This garbage collection has turned into garbage mountain  and breeding house for many disease causing agents.We have been suffering from years now.Our children are falling prey to many bacterial and parasitic infection and now in rainy season it becomes home to mosquitoes.Our daily life has been hampered due to this,We request the concerned authorities to kindly look into this issue.We urge Jammu Municipal Corporation to clear this garbage mountain as soon as possible.We request the authorities to set up the dustbins and start door to door collection of garbage.Since we have been complaining and pleading for the same from last many years,no one pays heed to our situation.

But Now we expect early redressal of our issue by JMC.



Yours Faithfully,

Residents of Preet Nagar,Nanak Nagar Jammu

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